Suffering

I got a bunch of books yesterday, including one on paradox in faith by Henri de Lubac.

One paragraph (paraphrased) says suffering like heat melts some hearts and softens some others.
I would add, sometimes it refines one's heart, and sometimes burns it and destroys it into dust.

In the Philippines, they have a tradition of suffering and martyrdom. One expects to suffer, and endurance is allowed, and it is cheerful. And martyrdom and honor is part of life, sort of the flip side to the macho idea of the men and the longsuffering and workaholic tradition of the women.

We Americans think we are in charge, and that we are safe, and that money and intelligence and hard work will solve every problem.

But in the Philippines there is a "carelessness" that is infuriating to Americans, and when something goes wrong (e.g. the china is broken for the fifteenth time, the clothes are accidentally bleached) you get a shrug and the idea is expressed as "Behala Na"...roughly translated...it doesn't matter" or "whatever will be will be"...(or more roughly, Whatever)...

But when suffering comes, it is also accepted, and the vivid devotion to the black Nazarene is one example of people identifying their suffering with that of Christ.

For 35 years, I worked as a doctor with the suffering, but now due to my husband's health I am retired, although I could probably work another ten years. Yet maybe the reason I am here is to learn the idea that my previous ideas were wrong, that I am not in charge, and that money is not my rock of salvation but that God is.

Or maybe he is just telling me to rest before I take up another burden. Behala na...